I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
