If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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