did you get engaged???
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
