Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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