I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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