We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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