why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
