it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
