Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I deserve this hangover.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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