My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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