i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
