i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
