And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
