So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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