i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
