just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize