Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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