Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
