First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
