how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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