i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
