I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
