you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
