I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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