my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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