guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
