he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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