Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
