Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
