He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
