You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
