My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
