Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
