Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
