You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
