he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
