if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
