i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
