We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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