I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
