Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize