i permit you to call me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize