I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
