it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's blow job season.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
