I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
