idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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