Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
