Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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