i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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