i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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