Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
