so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
