I want to walk on stilts...naked
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
