So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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