i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
