She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
