morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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