i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize