I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
