How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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