We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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