So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
