I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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